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[05 Jan 2006|06:43pm] |
YAY!!!!!
I got a new computer for Christmas from my brother YAY being back online!
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[24 Dec 2005|12:31am] |
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IT has been such a long semester. The main reason i haven't been updating is my computer is kaput! But I am getting a new one as a christmas present from my dad and brandon...it is amazing how much computers have come down in price since I bought mine... I am home for X-mas, mostly because my grandma is very sick and I don't know if I will get to see her again. Its scary, she is so weak and her memory is going. I just wish i could have spent more time with her since she moved down here but I can't spend more than a few minutes in that house without coughing and weazing.... I have been so sick this week. I got a cold before I left and then when I got here we had to go to grammas because she was having an anxiety attack, so I sat there weazing for almost 2 hours. THe next day i lost my voice, but my cold was feeling better... that night about oh... 3 AM I wake up and my ear feels like a hot spike is being shoved through it. I have to go to teh emergency room and spend the next day druged on pain medicine until the decongestant kicks in enough to relieve the pressure... So until today i couldn't really talk or hear. I am finally starting to feel better so hopefully next week will be better. Utah is cold and wet and boring...but Phoenix is hot and dry and bigger but still mostly boring....My parents have a new house its nice... very big... ITs like twice teh size of the other one and the lot is even bigger....anyways I am going to bed....night.
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| WEE! |
[04 Aug 2005|12:18am] |
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BAgpipes |
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IM getting money! They gave me the graduate assistantship and an extra 1500 on top. ::happy Dance::
Things have just been going absolutly wonderful all summer. I can't say that I have been happier in my life...IT makes all the stress and worries I had at teh end of the school year all worth while. I am still debating what to do with the money....I could pay off rent or save it for a car...or I could get a new computer...mines been dying and I need something that can handle large picture files better and not freeze while opening one... SO many things to figure out right now...but at least they are good things.
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| we have achieved normality |
[30 May 2005|12:40am] |
well atleast as much normality as i can have in utha. Got moved in two days later than expected, but eberything else has been going to so well.The people at teh theatre and USU arae absolutely wonderful. They are acttualy serious about what they do and stuff. Everyone has been so nice and tried to get to know me alittle. We have a company barbque every thrusday at teh loading dock for the shop and I am acttually getting the credit I desevre for my work and talent....only downside so far it I seemed to have strained my wrist and thumb from so much sewing.
The town is great it is way more spread out than flag staf so it feels bigger and its not full of hippies who hate prgress. The sun doen't go dwn until almost 9 which is a bit weird but I am adjusting. They stres on sunday are a bit annoying because everyone runns differetn hours, but other than that it is really nice. everything we need is within a block or two and they have a execllent FREE bus system that gets us anywhere else.
our apartmetn is so nice, but very empty. WE have blow up beds a tv the computer and our clothes at teh moment...Hopefully we can get stuff out of strage soon.
Everything has bee going so well I am just waiting for the ritual sacrificers to come knocking on our doorsaying our number came up....
I am also colecting pictures with my new digital camera got for graduation, so hopefully I can find a place to post those soon so everyone can see all the stuff thats been going on.
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[11 May 2005|09:55pm] |
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Things are finally starting to fall back into place my only concern now is packing and moving. It has been ridiculously hectic, but I am doing much better. Devin and I were handfasted on Beltane. It was so wonderful. and i got a pretty cinnamon broom for it so that is nice. Curretnly working on getting stuff set for the new place, trying to figure out how the hell we are getting it all there. Then work starts and hopefully after that I will have time to settle in and work on G3. I am just rying to take everything one day at a time.
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| Warning! |
[21 Apr 2005|11:28pm] |
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music |
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solitary shell |
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This is a very important post. I want everyone to know that I am currently highly sleep deprived and on my last thread of patience. I don't normally like sharing what I am about to but I need everyone to know how serious I am about what I am going to say right now. I have started cutting again, and if it wasn't for Devin would probably be very suicidal and have already done more damage to myself then I already have. I have been bitchy these past few week and will continue to be so until pretty much the end of school because I don't have alot of free time, and I will spend what I have how I want. I am leaving and there are several people I will not see very often and I want to spend time wiht them. I also have a ridiculous amount of school work, wedding planing and packing for moving to do. Basically, I am saying don't fucking take anything I do fo rhte next few week personal. Because one of two things will happen, either we have a confrontaion and I will probably never speak with you again, or I wll take what ever you say seemingly without a care and go back to my place and end up hurting myself more. I don't think anyone wants either to happen. This about the most honesty and openness anyone outside of Devin is getting from me right now. I am trying not to totally withdraw and be depressed like normal, btu at the same time I don't want everyone constantly asking how things are going. Thats part of why I normally don't talk to others about this. I will be fine, Devin is taking care of me. I just need people to be patient , because right now I am irratoinallyand do not know how I will end up reacting to anything. I have days where I am fuck everything nothing matters, and there are other days where where anythign going wrong sends me to tears and other days where i get so pissed off I snap at everyone. Ia m trying to be calm a rational and hopefully after this weekend things will get better to the point where I am alittle more leveled out, but I don't know and I am trying to give everyone a fair warning so that no one gets hurt.
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[19 Apr 2005|01:42am] |
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music |
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blade trinity |
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PEople are so fucking cattle. I had to spend the day aropund ditsy fuckhead who made everyone listen to britney Spears and fucking ashlee simpson. MOst of them have stopped thinking for themselves and just follow whatever trend MTV says is cool. Most of them don't even know how to change a fucking needle on a sewing machine and they are on costuem crew. SO many times I just wanted to fucking yell at the allto shut the fuck up and look something up in the text book the other day there was guy sitting on the fucking table for 5 minutes asking "Whats and arms eye" just yelling it over everyones head. I finally got sick of hearing him and told him what the fuck it was., but it was absolutly rediculous how lazy he was. There was a text book not even five feet away , but no goingto another table to look at it is too much strain on him. and telling them to get off their fucking asses would be unprofessional...this is such a fucking world of passive agressivness. bEing polite to customers and co workers who are down right moronic. Kissing teh asses of actors how think they are all that and will one day end up penniless, because they couldn't cut it in teh real world. iTs all a world of who you know and how nicely you treat others regaurdless of how they desevre to be treated. The more compliant you are, the more flexible, the more you bite your tongue and do what is asked of you the farther you get. Piss off the wrong person and your out.
I also got to listen to Elizabeth lie about doing make up designs for three shows she didn't work on, and claimed them on her resume'... one of which was Kara's designs for midsummer...guess who gets to be lawful evil now and call the company where she is trying to get a job this summer and let them know ... see like I said its all who you do and don't piss off... and about never ever lying on a resume'. :)
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[11 Apr 2005|05:28pm] |
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| You scored as Hedonism. Your life is guided by the principles of Hedonism: You believe that pleasure is a great, or the greatest, good; and you try to enjoy life’s pleasures as much as you can.
“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!”
More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...
Hedonism | | 100% | Strong Egoism | | 100% | Apathy | | 90% | Existentialism | | 75% | Justice (Fairness) | | 75% | Nihilism | | 40% | Utilitarianism | | 15% | Kantianism | | 10% | Divine Command | | 0% |
What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com |
Wee..not giving a fuck about anyone but me...which other than those that I have deemed worthy of my caring, is pretty much how my brain works. Beth gave me a palm reading and even said I let only a very few close. Its also easy to lose your position in my circle of friends I tend to be very discriminating an once you have pissed me off you are gone and not returning. I am particularly short with people who hurt those in my innermost circle or are jack asses to them...I am highly protective of those I deem worthy...now you ask, who it is I deem worthy? if you have to ask...
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| OH Goddess! |
[25 Mar 2005|03:17am] |
well as I cant' seem to sleep and everything that is going on is starting to sink in. I want to run away and hide under many rocks right now. I just have to much to do. Too uch to fucking worry about. FIrst there is the designs those are almost done. then there is making them reality. Thats always hard. then I have the presentation. not to mention all the other home work. I also have to pace and move and get married and kill the twenty billion people that are going to constantly bother me about stupid crap the entire time. Why do i have to be fucking responsible. they are so many fucking assholes who get away lounginf around all day. I don't even get a break until August. I would much rahter sit at home for three months unpacking and doing nothing, but I have to be practical and grown up. You know it sucks. Ad then iwatch people who lazily make there way through life mouching and not going anywhere. they just make little circle hmming and hawing about what they shoudl do in life and never move on to teh step of doing. it drives me insain and I want to ywell at them, but again am stopped by that bloody little annoying conscience that I have. the fucking thing that tells me yelling at them would not be acceptable and only provoke other things. yEs its great to know where I want to go or who i want to be with for the rest of my life but it is also fucking huge bruden tha makes you have to focus on what is in your best interest instead of what you desire to do at the exact moment. NO taking off, no quiting jobs, no partying till you are drunk and forgetting all your problems. You have to be the responsible one. Sometimes it can just be so tiring. BEing polite and doing what you are supposed to. It just gets to you. I figure oneday i'll snap and tell the whole world off... until then I will jus tbite my tongue, smile, nod and flip everyone off when tehy aren't looking.
I think this was originally going somewhere else, but it didn't work...
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[25 Mar 2005|03:07am] |
 | You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Satanism | | 92% | Buddhism | | 92% | Paganism | | 75% | Hinduism | | 50% | Judaism | | 42% | atheism | | 33% | agnosticism | | 29% | Islam | | 25% | Christianity | | 21% |
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
I have several problems with some of the questions on this one as they apply to multiple religions on teh list. Also alot of the "Pagan" questions focus on Dianic Wiccan thought.
| You scored as Medieval Knight/Lady. You're too romantic for this age. You believe that the past was far more interesting and you easily get boored by people discussing mundane stuff. When you see someone being bullied you unconciously reach for your sword. Keep it up! Our age needs knights (and ladies)!
Medieval Knight/Lady | | 74% | Enlightenment | | 67% | Stone Age buddy | | 57% | Renaissance personality | | 57% | Ancient Roman | | 57% | 20th century individual | | 57% | Hurrah! YOU belong where you are! | | 48% |
Which time period do you rightly belong to?
created with QuizFarm.com |
I think that is pretty accurate.
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[25 Mar 2005|02:37am] |
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So we spent the last few days in Cortez with devins family. It was fun and relaxing. They have a beautiful new house and a gorgeous view of the mountains all around them. I was in Cortez almost almost 9 years ago for my first work camp. It has changed quite a bit. As usual Devin and I deftly avoided or agreed to many questions raised over the few days. Devin kept getting prodded about returning to school and other things and we both were told to find very nice non-mormon churches in Utah. We of course nodded and smile. It will be interesting letting Devins parents know we are pagans...I have a feeling it will end up coming out through children...Went through some stuff and we are getting a few dressers and boxesof stuff in a few weeks. I got to ride on a train for the fisrt time, which was fun. I still kind of feel like I am on it.
I started packing again tonight. I was awake and wanted something physical to do, so I started packing up the kitchen, since Devin had to go to bed early. I got most of the glasses and cooking stuff away, other than a few items we need. I have several missing plates and peices of silverware, but I am sure they will turn up.
Its organge outside. it always is when its snowing. I am not entirely sure why. it could be the lamps in town. They have this whole low light emition thing of the observatory.
God its late I should get up as i am going to the ceramics lab with randy tomorrow.
NIght.
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| Privacy! |
[21 Mar 2005|10:56pm] |
A note before I write this thread: I know that the people who I will be refering to in this thread will undoubtedly read this, and I know that they may be upset and want to talk to me. Part of the point of this thread is I am not a great verbal communicator, nor do I like lots of questions asked about my personal life before I am ready to share what is going on with other people, that includes my lack of verbal communication with you. If this doesn't explain enough than you will just have to wait until I am ready to explain more.
Devin and I are a couple, we like to hang out together and we like to hang out apart. What we don't like is working very long shifts after very little sleep. These shifts involve us putting forth a large amount of energy making small talk, being polite and helpful and dealing with shit that we get for other people's mistakes from customers. After particularly stressful days the last thing we want it to come home and make small talk. Generally we either want to game or just sit and relax and watch some tv with out people asking too many questions, being loud, or invasive on personal space. This isn't always the case, but when we say things like we are claustrophobic that means lots of people being loud in the apartment is a bad thing. When it comes to gaming we can handle the players being around, but extra people = bad, no matter who they are or how nice they are or even how quiet they are. Yes, I realize we have the entire upper level of the appartment to ourelves, but because the heater is on its fucking hot and only worsens the claustrophobia because of that and the size of the rooms.
There has also been FUCKLOAD of emotional shit going on with us right now. Between family, school, future, and personal lives. I am being stretched to a point of breaking. I know I am being snappy and I am trying to control it to the best of my ability. Trust me if I wasn't several people would be reemed out by now for very minor little things that aren't important. When I get in these moods doing things like asking if things are ok or trying to confront me about what is wrong only makes things worse. You just need to let it blow over. I hate when people assume everything is about them. Just because I am in a bad mood and don't want to hang out with you, does NOT mean it is about you. The same thing goes for when Devin is reclusive. It just means we need our personal space and privacy. lately we have not been getting enough of it.
When we are emotionally upset over some of what has been going on the last thing we want to to walk down into the living room and have people ask why we are crying, or what is the problem. In fact we would prefer to not let others now anything is wrong, until we have dealt with it ourselves. That is part of why we have been hiding upstairs so much. The other night I recived some very important news that was rather upsetting and Devin and I needed time to talk. I knew it was going to probably be emotional and so I asked to have teh house to ourselves for just a few hours that night, for the very reasons I just talked about. The problem with just moving into another room was, it still isn't total privacy. If we had been in the living room, people still could have heard if we were crying, or walked out to get something from the kitchen, and it would have made us uncomfortable to be down there worring about that. And having everyone move to the other room still just leads to questions like "what wrong" and "are they mad", where as saying hey lets go play here for a change or Morgan and Devin want some "aloooonnne time" in a pseudo sexual voice leads nowhere near what is really going on. I am sorry if I didn't make it clear in my note. And like I said if you couldn't find somewhere else it was ok, we would just stay upstaris.
I want to reiterate we are not mad at anyone. We are just very very fucking tired and stressed.
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[24 Feb 2005|08:45pm] |
 | You scored as Count Dracula. You are the charming, ravenous vampire from Bram Stoker's classic novel. A frightful spectre from the shadows of history, you harvest the blood of the living to perpetuate your existence. Though you are hospitable and charming, it is only an insidious ruse to cover your carnivorous intentions.
Count Dracula | | 100% | Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde | | 84% | Frankenstein's Monster | | 83% | The Invisible Man | | 67% | Dorian Gray | | 63% | The Headless Horseman | | 38% |
What's Your 19th Century Horror Character?
created with QuizFarm.com |
| You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what's right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart.
Chaotic Good | | 70% | Lawful Evil | | 65% | Chaotic Neutral | | 65% | True Neutral | | 65% | Neutral Evil | | 45% | Chaotic Evil | | 35% | Neutral Good | | 30% | Lawful Good | | 25% | Lawful Neutral | | 5% |
What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com |
How does that one work?
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[21 Feb 2005|05:37pm] |
I got a Secret Spell Barbie Doll!...Her name is Kayla.
If you arent' aware these were the limited test run of a "Wiccan" Barbie...They of course went over horribly with the Christians and are very hard to find.
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[23 Jan 2005|09:07pm] |
First week of classes is voer I am ready to kill my department and work is making me very depressed.
BRandon and Erika are coming next weekend and the week after that MOira and Brendan will be visiting. Yay for excuses to take some time off work...
I get to burn things in class tomorrow. WE have to bring in two things to burn I have yet to decide what to bring....
so last week Ben's comupter wasn't working no his is working and ours isn't which means something is wrong with something but I don't knwo what.
OTher things i want' to rant about but will hold my tongue...
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| GAHHHH!!! |
[16 Jan 2005|06:56pm] |
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Things have been sooo busy... I am trying to get everything sorted out for grad school, working, getting ready for my last semester at the heel hole of NAU and don't have a car to make all of this the least bit easier...anyone want to contribute to the buy me a car fund...donations excepted...gratitude given...
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| LIFE!!!! |
[23 Aug 2004|12:44am] |
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Voltaire-"When your evil" |
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Well I figure its about time i update you on whats been going on. Chrissy Lundeen, Ben, and I are doing it we ar now officially G3: Gorgeous Girls of Gaming...Its all exciting we have already done to photot shoots gotten a logo and are setting up a webpage and copywrighting everything...now we just need more girls...Anyone know any girls that might be interested.
I quite Target and am now working at the Comfort Inn with Devin. Its nice a relaxed, and they don't work me super late wth out teling me far in adavnce. Its going to be nice.
Carey got a job in Mississippi, so we have two new people coming in. one to run the shopp and one to teach costume design...its will be interesting t see how things go. I am pretty sure I will still be shop manager, or atleast work there.
Down in phx for doctors and my dad's b-day. got him firefly, which is the most awesome space western ever, cuz is and acttual space western...can't wait fo teh movie...went to hottopic and got a cute tank with spiderz with heartz on them... I am slowly building my goth wardrobe I have been wanting for so long.
I don't know thats most of whats been going on...schol starts in a week...and then bordem...going to check on a modem tomorrow so we can have internet int eh apartmetn...stupid cab'e vision makes you buy or rent the bridge to take the cable to an ethernet port....grrr....
NIghtnight
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| WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[29 Jul 2004|12:58pm] |
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We are off to Hexacon today. I have cute outfits to wear to promote G3:Gorgeous Girls of Gaming. It is now the offical name of our gamer geek pinup site. its going to be damn cool. I get to talk to people and recruit models! Well gotta go. bye.
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